


Exchanging Tender Insults

by NoBrandHero



Series: Constants & Variables: A Species Swap AU [8]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe, Fluff, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, M/M, Species Swap, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-14
Updated: 2015-04-14
Packaged: 2018-03-22 19:12:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3740368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoBrandHero/pseuds/NoBrandHero
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John just wants to film his matesprit being cute. He ends up with more footage of an insult competition than anything else.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Exchanging Tender Insults

**Author's Note:**

> This is a mini-sequel ficlet to my longer work Constants & Variables set like a year or two later, but this is pretty much the only context you need to read it independently: Karkat is a human, John is a troll, and they are flushed for each other.

The camera shook with the tremors of an inexperienced photographer -- one who was walking, no less, but it didn't get particularly better as John flopped onto the couch. He aimed the lens at Karkat, who was sitting next to him and too engrossed in his romance novel to notice that his boyfriend was recording him.

"Karkaaat..."

"What?" Karkat didn't even look away from his book.

"Say you love me."

Karkat glanced up, his gaze focusing on John's camera with a suspicious glare. "Why the fuck?"

"Because I want to record it and play it back whenever I want."

Karkat rolled his eyes and returned to his reading. "That's fucking creepy."

"No, it's romantic."

"Only in movies, John."

"Say it anyway."

Karkat kept his eyes trained on the pages, even as his glare intensified. "No."

"Please?"

"John, I'm trying to fucking _read_."

"So say it fast."

Karkat leaned his head back against the couch and groaned. His book slid shut in his hands. "Go _away_."

"Spoilsport."

Karkat narrowed his eyes and glanced at him. "Cocksucker."

"Nookwhiffer."

"Giant shitstain that makes bleach run for cover."

"Incurable bulgesore."

Karkat's face contorted as his volume rose. "Cum addict who can't get his fix because he's too butt ugly and smells like ass."

"Whiny wiggler with a missing think pan that shits itself."

"Constipated, vomit-covered, smashed dung beetle that's less appealing than a warm, used condom filled with off-color contents found in a dark alleyway!"

"I love you."

Karkat choked on his next insult. His body language deflated and his cheeks tinged red. "I love you too," he muttered so quietly it was almost gibberish.

"Louder for the camera?"

The blush got worse, but Karkat's usual fury returned as he straightened and shouted, "I love you too, you obnoxious, self-centered shithead of an alien!" He let out a huff. "Are you going to let me read now or not?"

"Can I snuggle you?"

He flipped through the book, trying to find his page again. There was a tired sigh in his voice. "Do these snuggles come with commentary?"

"Nope."

Karkat opened an arm towards John. He still wasn't smiling, but he almost looked relaxed.

The camera went dark, the moving shadows the only indicator it was still on at all, and the mic picked up mostly static until John turned the device around. He was curled against Karkat's shoulder and staring into the lens with his brow furrowed. His fingers blurred over the lens every few seconds.

Karkat was back to reading, but after a few seconds he glanced down. "John, turn that off."

"I'm trying. These buttons are confusing."

"Does Strider even know you're using that thing?" Karkat reached for the camera with more purpose than any of John's fumbling.

"No."

Karkat's hand blocked the lens and a second later the camera shut off.

**Author's Note:**

> I actually wrote this over a year ago and just couldn't post it until Constants & Variables was finished. Shhhh.


End file.
